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The Great Beyond

Even though it felt like it would NEVER end, we have arrived at the last and final day of the initial Mercury Retrograde of 2020...and it's time to pick up the pieces. For the most part, I generally ride out Mercury Retrograde with little to no issue, coming out of it pretty much unscathed. This Mercury Retrograde, however, CAME WIT IT!! I swear I got turned out; and not in the good way! I'm here to decompress and move on with my life...

I first noticed the effects on those closet to me. Those around me are a direct reflection of what's happening inside me, so I said to myself, "ok, I must have some shit with me I need to deal with; bet; Bring It On!" I GOTTA be careful what I ask for, because boy did I get it, and QUICK!! It felt like it was coming from all sides at once. I was forced to deal with my indecisiveness when it came to certain things in my life, forcing me to take control of the situation(s). While all of this is happening, I just kept reminding myself it was all for my greater good, and something absolutely fantastic was going to come of it all. I was brought face to face with one of my biggest emotional fears, and you know what, I ATE that shit! Soo many times in the past where emotional blows of that capacity would have taken me completely out; feeling like a giant wave had engulfed, then drowned me. This time was different...It was low and gradual, with breaks that provided much needed relief and sanity. It was like the universe was trying to re-assure me that I was moving in the right direction. Honestly, all I wanted to do the entire time was escape. I didn't want to be brave, I just wanted it to be over...

When I started to get overwhelmed, I did one of two things: I would either go for a walk, or, if the weather did not permit, meditate. I spent so much time inside my own head, I was SICK of me. It was time to see if all of this inner work was going to have any real-world application. More confused than anything, I decided to surrender to whatever it was that was happening. If there is one thing I know for certain is that life is NOT about struggle and internal conflict. There was obviously something contrary in my actions versus how things should actually be happening. I let go, and as soon as I did, some pretty amazing things started to happen. It was like everything I had been focusing on and stressed about suddenly had the space to work itself out. As soon as I stopped paying attention, BOOM!..and I'm talking pretty damn quickly too! Let's give a round of applause for Mercury Retrograde and it's rapid response time! I just kept focused on being happy, loved, and successful. After that, it was pretty much an influx of nostalgic energy, spontaneity, surprise turns, self re-discovery, and undeniable coincidence...like I said, turned me OUT!!!

This was a pretty painful lesson, so I'm glad it was TECHNICALLY brief, not that it felt that way while it was happening!! My debt to society has been paid and I am now free to live the life I deserve. I had no idea going into this retrograde that my life would be turned upside down to make me over, but I'm damn sure glad it did. Thank you in advance Universe for Masterpieces still in the making...~The Queen
Image Courtesy of: Nichollekobi.com
https://queenkhira.com/


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